My life used to be all about art and nothing was more important to me than to improve and become a good artist. I liked that. I had a purpose and a goal and life was simple.
Then at some point between moving out of Norway and getting an actual social life everything changed. Suddenly my life had things that I continuously chose over art, and before I knew it I had even stopped bringing my sketchbook wherever I went. WTF? I used to be the quiet (and slightly angry) girl in the corner with the sketchbook! Now I'm the occasionally happy girl who hangs out with people.
I will admit that I am much happier like this in many ways, but in some ways I'm not. This life is so much more complicated, so many more feelings and stuff involved, but at the same time it lacks meaning. Hanging out with friends and enjoying myself is a good purpose, but I still need the BIG goal. I have tried to combine the two ways of living, but without any luck. Social life always won. The peace I get when I draw can easily be beaten by relaxing with friends out in the sun by the old castle, and the rush I get from positive feedback is beaten by a good night out or a walk in unknown territory.
I should have chosen a uni without such a good social environment.